Open Questions + Diary Comics
I really miss drawing beautiful comics. My diary comics don’t count towards this inky lust since they’re intentionally scrappy and unplanned—I draw straight with pen in my little 3.5” x 5.5” hard cover Moleskine, drawing to document rather than to make a good drawing, you know what I mean? I’m fighting the temptation to jump right into pencils for Monument, which I’m really excited to build out visually, but I need to keep text & story edits flexible in case future sections need details established earlier, or call backs need to be more robustly set up, etc etc. I know for a story this complex I need to get everything established first, but honestly, I’m impatient and I miss spending my days doing things I’m good at.
One fun thing I did recently that scratched the drawing-itch was paint a new mailbox! My house has a mail slot to the side of the front door, which is confusing for new mail delivery people (lots of mail bundles left in the rain on the patio over the years), and also it’s an absolute nightmare for winter insulation. I’ve wanted to do this since we moved in; I got started on it in May, and finally had enough quiet evenings when my husband was out of town to finish it up. I used little jars of enamel paint to decorate this Home Depot mailbox:
What are your strategies for staying in discomfort in a creative project? Right now I’m just clenching my teeth and pushing myself into it every day, but it takes so much energy and willpower, which is frankly a limited resource these days. I wish my freelance illustration work weren’t in a fallow slump so I could justify distracting myself, and also I’m grateful I have the freedom of time to stay in this difficult place and not look away. I sometimes despair at my mismatched ambition (high) and skill (middling but dogged), mad that I’m not using these cartoonist tools I have doing something light hearted and silly and joyful (it is comics, after all!), but I know my heart and know I won’t be satisfied until I finish this book. I often start my writing hours by opening up a different document and talking myself into writing…which doesn’t feel great? Am I missing something? I think one part of it is that comics is so multidisciplinary, and this generative writing part is the one I’m least practiced in, most insecure about. I really want to do this idea justice but it feels like I am trying to pull a rabbit out of an empty hat. Nothing to do but keep going, best I can figure. Magic comes from work.
Other Things:
What even is this newsletter? In early missives I found something substantial to say, but that’s given way to a daily focus on comic script writing; I’ve been enjoying reflecting on my work weekly and sharing diary comics and other recommendations, but beyond that, I don’t know what else this is about. It feels self-indulgent? Or boring? I really miss having a community of cartoonists around me to talk shop with, but this monologuing into the ether is a poor substitute. I don’t know when I’ll be returning to tabling at festivals, and so many of my comics friends have moved away from Chicago the past few years! What’s an overscheduled mom to do? How are we artists re-building connection in a post-lockdown-but-still-transformed world?
I’ve been watching the new Star Trek series (Strange New Worlds), which is a freaking delight. I also re-watched “Killing It” (on Peacock, sorry) with Tom and loved it even more the second time through. It couldn’t be more different in specifics, but it broadly reminded me of what I loved about Lodge 49–it’s about earnest friendship and misplaced hope and the absolute failure of the American Dream in crushing late-capitalism. Also, snakes!
I don’t know about y’all, but the pendulum of “stay inside/rest/nest/safe” vs “connect/be outside/take risks/eat life whole” is swinging hard out into the world. That happens every summer in Chicago, but with my littlest kids finally getting vaccinated (!!) it feels like I can run out into life again in a way I haven’t for literal years. I’m so happy that it’s summer!
Diary Comics:
Xoxoxo m